ANNA'S REVISION OF CLAIRE'S ANALYSIS
Original essay by Claire Otake: http://annaotake.wix.com/enjoyhappystudy#!about1/c2rh
I, Too, Sing America by Langston Hughes was published in 1945, ten years before the start of the Civil Rights Movement. In the beginning of the 20th century, although slavery had slowly ended, racial segregation had not ended and was becoming uncontrollable, very much alive. This went widespread through America. As a black American citizen, Langston Hughes envisioned a day in which whites and blacks will eat together “at the table” and have equality. The title of this poetry I, Too, Sing America refers singing for America as an American citizen, and that all the people are born to be equal. As Hughes was living in this time period, he have experienced the race unequality. As I incorporated the poem I, Too, Sing America in my own creative piece, I added some background and meaning of the poem, elements of poetry, and the image of freedom.
This poem is about a black slave in America who is wishing for freedom and equality. The story about eating in the kitchen when a guest come and hiding in the back is a metaphor of blacks wanting to gain freedom and equality towards the nation. As a fair equal American, Hughes love America and wants to be part of it. In this poem, he starts with the phrase "I, too, sing America"(line 1). This phrase points out that he will sing for America and will be in part of it as an American. I have incorporated this into my own creative piece by adding the phrase “I sing America, I am America”. When Hughes says "the darker brother"(line 2), he is referring to not only the individual but the whole nation. The word “darker”(line 2) identifies that he is black and the word “brother”(line 2) refers to the brother of the whole nation. This means that this poem I, Too, Sing America is a perspective the whole black nation. The phrase “eat in the kitchen”(line 3 and line 13) means that he cannot eat in the same table, and eating at the same table is considered a family. As you eat at the same table, that means you accept that person. Although eating together in the kitchen is a metaphor, the phrase “I don’t ever wanna be alone” (line 8 in my own creative piece) means that you want to be considered as a family member and want to get accepted as a human being on the behalf of all black nations. "Tomorrow" (line 8) is not literally tomorrow but the future time when blacks and whites will all be equal. This is the reason why I incorporated the phrase “I’m equal as you sitting in the same seat with no sorrow” (line 7) to my own piece . This means that a day where we all become equal will come.
The four elements of poetry that I used in my creative poetry is repetition, rhyme scheme, assonance, and alliteration. There are many visible repetition in the creative piece that can be realized very quickly. “It’s time to begin isn’t it? To fight for freedom get better to fit bit by bit become considered American. Hey do you understand that all life should be equal”. This whole phrase is a repetition that is repeated in the piece several times. In this short phrase, alliteration and assonance is also hidden. “To fight for freedom get better to fit bit by bit become” is an alliteration. The phrase “become considered” is an assonance. In the part “My heart always felt so lonely like no one is going to be friendly”, the word lonely and friendly is rhyming to each other. “Not only when I eat, it’s also when on street. The path to paradise is right below my feet”, the word eat, street, and feet rhyme to each other. In “Tomorrow. Telling me go and eat at the kitchen with some sorrow”, tomorrow and sorrow rhyme to each other.
Semi-formal revision:
I, Too, Sing America by Langston Hughes was published in 1945, ten years before the start of the Civil Rights Movement. Although slavery had gradually diminished in the beginning of the 20th century, racial segregation had not ended and was becoming uncontrollable. The title, I, Too, Sing America, refers to the ‘blacks’ singing for America as an American citizen and shows that all people are born to be equal. Hughes, living in this time period, have experienced the racial inequality too; this poem represents the determination of the black Americans going through a harsh and discriminating society. In my own creative piece, I added historical background, meaning of the poem, elements of poetry, and the image of freedom to emphasize the intentions of Langston Hughes.
This poem is written in a first-person perspective of a black slave in America who is wishing for freedom and equality. Langston Hughes was a fair equal American, neither inferior nor superior of the “white” people, that loves America and wants to be a part of it. In this poem, Hughes starts with the phrase "I, too, sing America" (line 1). This points out that he will sing for America even if people criticizes him because of his race. I have incorporated this into my own creative piece by adding the phrase “I sing America, I am America”. When Hughes says "the darker brother" (line 2), he is referring to not only the individual but the whole nation. The word “darker” (line 2) identifies that he is black and the word “brother” (line 2) refers to everyone in the whole nation. This means that this whole poem, I, Too, Sing America, is a representation the perspective of the whole black nation.
While the guests visits the house, the slaves are forced to eat in the kitchen and hide in the back. This little story serves as an important metaphor that represents how the blacks wanted to gain freedom and be treated equally in the nation. Racism was widespread through America, and as a black American citizen, Langston Hughes envisioned a day in which whites and blacks could eat together “at the table”. Lines 3 and 13 shows how having a meal together symbolizes being considered a part of the family; and in the society Hughes was in, that was not allowed. The phrase “I don’t ever wanna be alone” (line 8 in my own creative piece) shows that the blacks wanted to be considered as a family member and be accepted as a human being on the behalf of all the black nations. "Tomorrow" (line 8) is not literally tomorrow but the future when blacks and whites will all be equal. I incorporated the phrase “I’m equal as you sitting in the same seat with no sorrow” (line 7) in my original poem to emphasize that someday, everyone would be treated fairly.
The four elements of poetry that I used in my creative poetry is repetition, rhyme scheme, assonance, and alliteration. There are many visible repetitions in the creative piece that can be realized very quickly. The whole of stanza 3 is repeated in the piece several times to emphasize the determination to “fight for freedom” and “become considered American”. In these short phrases, alliteration and assonance is also used. In the phrase “My heart always felt so lonely like no one is going to be friendly”, the word lonely and friendly is rhyming to each other. From “Not only when I eat, it’s also when on street. The path to paradise is right below my feet”, the words eat, street, and feet is chosen so that it rhymes, too. In “Tomorrow. Telling me go and eat at the kitchen with some sorrow”, tomorrow and sorrow rhymes to each other. Through repetition, rhyme scheme, assonance, and alliteration, my created poetry emphasizes the important themes of determination for equality from the original poem by Langston Hughes.
Essay:
I revised my peer’s exemplary evaluation of the poem I, Too, Sing America by Langston Hughes so that the thoroughly-described evidence that supports the main idea would be more easily understood by the readers. The original work by Anna Claire Otake is undeniably laudable - it is written with great detail, and a lot of research had went into writing the essay. But some of the sentences feels out of place, and to avoid confusion I organized the structure of the paragraphs in an aim to present the good qualities of the original so it can receive the fullest recognition it deserves.
The essay starts off by describing the background of Harlem Renaissance. The first few sentences states that the poem was published ten years before the Civil Rights Movement, and that racial segregation was still persisting during Hughes’s time. This gives people an insight of how racism influenced literature, serving as a great opening for the whole analysis essay - but suddenly, the next line brings up something completely new, leaving the readers confused. Claire mentions that Hughes “envisioned a day in which whites and blacks will eat together ‘at the table’ and have equality” (Otake), referring to an anecdote which is later introduced and explained in the first body paragraph; but because it is abruptly thrown in the introduction, the words quoted with the apostrophe doesn’t make sense in the beginning. I felt that it would suit more later in the essay when the significance of having a meal together is mentioned and emphasized, so I shifted the sentence into the first body paragraph, narrowing the introduction down.
As I moved sentences from the introduction to the body, I noticed that the first body paragraph was very lengthy with several different ideas jumbled together. Claire first says that “the story about eating in the kitchen when a guest comes and hiding in the back is a metaphor”, talking about a really important anecdote that directly connects with the background of the story; but because the original story is neither cited earlier in the essay nor is really obvious in the poem, I specifically mentioned it before the Claire’s analysis (Otake). While I was doing that I realized that the whole paragraph was about breaking down Hughes’s work and analysing what each word meant; but because of the quote-and-explanation style, it felt as though various elements of the poem were just put out there without any order. All the interpretation Claire gives is already thoroughly described and has a conclusion of their own, so I separated them into two main body paragraphs - one about ‘eating together’ and another about ‘singing for Africa’ in an aim to organize it a little.
Revising our peer’s work can be really difficult and stressful, especially when it is already filled with good elements that might disappear when we edit it. Claire’s essay describes each and every part of the poem in great detail, and the way she writes about equality calls on to the pathos, really making the readers sympathize. But I realized that because Claire knows so much about the poem already some parts may not be the first-time-reader-friendly; and from a reader’s perspective, I tried to revise her work so that anyone could understand and the essay easily.